Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
