A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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