something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
