Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This baby is an asshole
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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