But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
