i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
