Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
