so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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