he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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