Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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