'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
