well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
