Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
