I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
