I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
