He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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