im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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