Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
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Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
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At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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