Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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