i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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