he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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