Say something about gay babies.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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