He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
