I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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