Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
