I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
