she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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