you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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