dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
