Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
