So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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