Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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