i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
where are my eyebrows?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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