Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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