do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize