What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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