stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize