Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
