i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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