Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
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i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
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I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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