if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize