rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
