I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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