There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
from now on my penis is your penis
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
