I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
