can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
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according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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