Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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