try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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