I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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