i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
