I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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