You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
