I could have mohawked her pubes.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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