i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
